Questions to ask a pen pal
Ask a pen pal about interests, food and small moments from daily life. Choose one or two questions per letter, share your own answer and follow up on their reply. Save deeper questions for later, and avoid requests for private details or photos.
Easy questions for first letters
Start with something easy to answer. An open question invites a story; offering two choices can help someone unsure what to write.
- What made you smile this week?
- How do you enjoy a quiet day?
- Which song is on repeat lately?
- What's your cosy evening snack?
- What's your favourite season, and why?
- Have you tried anything new recently?
- Do you prefer slow mornings or quiet evenings?
- What hobby would you like to try?
- What made you want a pen pal?
- What could you talk about for hours?
Daily life and the country you live in
Keep place questions at country level. “What is winter like in your country?” allows a general answer without revealing a town, route or daily schedule.
- What's your favourite weather in your country?
- What do you like eating for breakfast?
- What's your ideal weekend at home?
- How do you like spending a rainy day?
- What sounds remind you of summer in your country?
- What simple meal do you enjoy making?
- What excites you when the seasons change?
- What might surprise someone about everyday life in your country?
- How do you relax after a busy day?
- What everyday thing would you miss if you lived abroad?
Culture, food and language
Ask about personal experiences: people in the same country may enjoy different traditions. For an unfamiliar word, ask for a short example sentence too.
- What food from your country would you recommend trying?
- Is there a holiday you enjoy, and what do you like about it?
- What word in your language do you especially like?
- How do you say a casual thank you to a friend?
- What is a friendly greeting for a letter in your language?
- What music in your language would you suggest listening to?
- Is there a dish that feels comforting to you?
- Is there a tradition you enjoy taking part in?
- What everyday expression is hard to translate?
- What would you like to ask about my country's food or language?
Favourite things: K-pop, shows, anime, books and games
Ask why someone likes a song or character, then share your own example. Check before discussing plot twists; they may still be watching or reading.
- What K-pop song should a new listener try?
- What song gets better with every listen?
- What show would you happily watch again?
- Which anime character do you enjoy, and why?
- What book stayed with you after finishing?
- What game helps you unwind?
- Without spoilers, what makes a favourite story special to you?
- What music or story genre would you explore next?
- Has a favourite inspired you to draw, cook or make something?
- What would you recommend from our shared interests?
Deeper questions for later letters
Wait until you both feel comfortable sharing more. Ask about a small hope or success.
- What is something you would love to learn one day?
- What makes someone a good friend to you?
- What small achievement have you felt proud of recently?
- Is there something new you would like to feel brave enough to try?
- What kind gesture do you still remember?
- What would a really good day look like for you?
- If you could make something just for fun, what would it be?
- Has your idea of a good friendship changed over time?
- What are you looking forward to in the coming months?
- What helps you feel understood by a friend?
How to ask well
Ask one or two questions per letter and answer them yourself too: “I like reading with tea on rainy days. What do you enjoy when it rains?”
- Pick a question that connects to your letter or their last reply.
- Add your own answer in a sentence or two.
- Follow up on a detail: “You mentioned baking. What did you make?”
- Leave room to skip: “Only if you feel like sharing.”
Questions to avoid
Keep full names, exact addresses, schools, phone numbers, social handles and photos private early on. Avoid age-guessing, requests for money or pressure to share secrets. Ask about someone's country, not where exactly they live.
Get to know each other only in the app. Block or report anyone who keeps pushing boundaries. Teens: tell a trusted adult if something feels wrong.
Writing back in Sea Pals
Teens meet only teens as strangers. Strangers never see your birthday, exact location or username, and letters cannot include links or social handles. Photos between friends who met by letter need 5 messages each and the receiver’s yes.
Choose a question from this guide and add your own answer on free letter paper. In Sea Pals, Mochi carries your letter to people who share your interests, and a reply begins a friendship.